Game Guided: The Lessons Video Games Have Taught Me

Fighting the Undead with Vitamin C

I'm a little under the weather today.  Apparently, all snow has to be removed from sidewalks 24 hours after snowfall and we got an angry letter from the HOA-stapo.  So instead of electing to wait for the snow to melt and hope to avoid a court summons, I decided to shovel the walks in the dark last night.  It was freezing cold and now I have a bit of a head cold. 

In my sickness, I draw upon the wisdom of Dead Rising.  If you don't know, in Dead Rising you play the role of photo journalist Frank West as he strives to survive a zombie apocalypse.  Navigating through a mall packed with Zombies can be a bit hazardous to your health, so one of Frank's revitalizing energies of choice is orange juice.  Orange juice is plentiful in the game and got me out of several zombie related perils.  As it turns out, orange juice is also plentiful in real life and can get you out of a number of non-zombie related perils.

Benefits of orange juice:

-full of antioxidants

-boosts immune system

-prevents scurvy (and trust me, scurvy isn't as popular with the ladies as it once was)

-gives you the strength to lead the human resistance

So whether you're hacking your way through a sea of bloodthirsty undead or trying to push out the expense reports through furious fits of sneezing, bring a tall glass of OJ.  Humanity may depend on it.

 

Underachiever's Guide to Achievements

 

The introduction of achievements had a strange effect on me.  At first blush, I thought they were just goofy pop ups that interrupted my gameplay.  I didn't care about my gamerscore or fully "completing" a game at all.  After a while though, I was on achievements like a fat kid on a cupcake (read as: myself on a cupcake).  Suddenly every trivial task was semi-rewarded and acknowledged.  Before long I was going out of my way to do menial tasks just to get my fix.  Xbox somehow turned me into an overachiever.

Advice to Parents/Spouses/Significant Others of gamers:

If you want to see a dent in that tedious to-do list, trick your gaming loved one into chores using the same system.  If I saw that blessed little gray dialog box every time I did laundry, mowed the lawn, or washed the dishes, our house would be immaculate. Achievements make us feel like we've done something impressive, even though we didn't really want to do it in the first place.

(P.S. Please don't forward this post to my wife.  I enjoy weekend loafing)

The Mission

Hello World,

My name is James and I'm addicted to video games.  I have been a gamer my entire life and I don't intend to quit.  From lowly beginnings blowing dust out of Duck Hunt cartridge to disassembling my Xbox 360 with hopes of banishing the Red Ring of Death back to hell where it belongs, I've spent a lot of time playing games I love.  Contrary to what the media would have you believe, I'm not a serial murder or isolated socially-awkward weirdo (just a regular weirdo).  I have a steady job, good friends, a wonderful wife and a pretty sweet life all around.  I go outside, shower, go to bed at a reasonable hour, and can carry on a conversation with a female with limited fainting.  What's wrong with me?

It's nothing new that video games get the short end of the stick in art mediums.  While movies and music have lavish awards ceremonies and public adoration, video games usually only make news when they are the scapegoat of a crime or are selling a bunch of copies.  But I am living proof that you can do a LOT of gaming and come out perfectly well adjusted.  With this blog I intend to go one step further and say video games have instilled some life long lessons and made me a better person, even if after all these years I still frag like a nub.

Love,

Gamer James